would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm both gender and math confused
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
