if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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