doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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