My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
