She's JV to your varsity
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
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