I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
