dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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