what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
we're so committed to being not committed
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
