By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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