Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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