The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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