haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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