Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
