my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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