I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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