Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
