So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
