so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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