how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
