Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
