I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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