for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
