im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
