I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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