Porn is love you can see.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Randomize
