Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
