Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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