Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
