dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
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