pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
