apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I wish you could order shots online.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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