She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
