...so i touched it.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
where are my eyebrows?
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