is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
