I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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