i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
My breasts were aching with rage.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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