i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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