As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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