forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
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