Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
