woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
