let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
