Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
