Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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