Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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