who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
