i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Who died my cat blue again?
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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