I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
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