Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
