Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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