I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize