You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
