I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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