i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
