it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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